HOLIDAY CHEER AT THE MOVIES!

My wallet hates the holiday season.  I can practically hear it exhale, “Damnit Alex…not again” every time I step into a Wal-Mart.  And as a Jew, celebrating Hanukah means going through eight days of financial hell.  Nothing screams “Potential Debt!” like a credit card still warm from being swiped at the cashier.

Going to the movies isn’t any easier.  Every year a slew of awesome films are released, and every year theater owners smile viciously as they fan out all the cash I’ve given them.  $15 for a 3D ticket…you’re welcome, Avatar.

This year is no exception.  From kid-friendly (Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked) to adults-only (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), there’s something for everyone at the box office this winter.  For your reading pleasure, I’ve assembled a list and analysis of this holiday season’s heavy hitters.

(NOTE: I’m ignoring New Year’s Eve because, as a filmmaker and film fan, I firmly believe it’ll be so terrible that it will tear the fabric of the space-time continuum, erasing all of existence.  Or something like that.)

December 9^th

• Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: Gary Oldman, Colin Firth and Tom Hardy star in this spy thriller. I think it looks cool as ice, and the chemistry between Oldman and Hardy will be a preview for 2012’s guaranteed smash-hit The Dark Knight Rises.

 December 16^th

• Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked: I didn’t see the first.  I didn’t see the second.  I won’t see the third.  But younger kids seem to love these CGI helium-filled chipmunks, and if you have a child under the age of eight, congratulations: you just bought a ticket.
• Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows: For me, Sherlock Holmes was the film that won the December Movie Battle of 2009 (Avatar vs. Sherlock Holmes).  Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law’s chemistry was fantastically charming, blended perfectly with director Guy Ritchie’s unique blend of awesomeness and Hans Zimmer’s Oscar-winning score.  A Game of Shadows reunites the team and throws Mad Men’s Jared Harris and Noomi Rapace into the mix.  I certainly hope this sequel lives up to the hype.
• Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (in select theaters and IMAX; opens nationwide on the 21^st): I know what you’re thinking: “Another one?”  Yeah, another one that just happens to be directed by Oscar-winning director Brad Bird (The Incredibles).  And you’re right, Tom Cruise can be all kinds of crazy, but the man brings his A-game every time.  Nobody sells a movie like he does, especially an action flick like Mission: Impossible.  Plus he does his own stunts, and I’ll be damned if you say anything bad about a man scaling the world's tallest building. 

December 21^st

• The Adventures of Tintin: Steven Spielberg.  Peter Jackson.  Motion-capture technology.  An eight-minute single-shot chase/action scene.  The movie has already made $200 million internationally.  You've already bought your ticket.  Any questions?
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: David Fincher directs this adaption of Stieg Larsson’s internationally best-selling novel starring Daniel Craig.  It’s a dark, disturbing story that promises to be the “feel bad movie of the holiday season.”  And if you haven’t seen the trailer check it out now, because HOLY CRAP.  That, my friends, is how you cut a trailer!  (Plus ATB’s very own Jacob Diamond was seriously considered to play the young Daniel Craig!  Work on that English accent buddy, ‘cause we’re pitching you for James Bond Jr.!)

December 23^rd

• We Bought a Zoo (nationwide): Starring Matt Damon & Scarlett Johansson and directed by Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire), this film is about a family that…buys a zoo.  Expect lots of “aw…” moments.

December 25^th

• War Horse: Spielberg’s Oscar-push movie, coming into theaters a mere four days after Tintin.  Look, it’s Spielberg’s World War I movie about “a boy and his horse.”  Think ET meets Saving Private Ryan.  Again, you’ve already bought your ticket.          

And there you have it—a comprehensive guide to this holiday season’s heavy hitters.  Every one is worth spending your $10 on (or $15 in Tintin’s case, because that movie is intended for 3D viewing and YOU MUST DO AS SPIELBERG COMMANDS).  When you’re over-stuffed from Christmas dinner and avoiding that weird second cousin who keeps giving you “mistletoe alerts,” remember and have no fear!  The movies are your safe haven.

But wait, there’s more!  No holiday season release rundown would be complete without a 2012 Preview!  There are plenty of films to look forward to (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, 007 in Skyfall, Prometheus, John Carter), but only three make the Alex Tafet ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY MUST-SEE list.

• The Avengers (May 4^th): Marvel Studios’ massive gamble that began in 2008 with Iron Man culminates in this unprecedented big-screen adventure that brings Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and the Incredible Hulk together to defend the Earth against a threat no single hero can handle alone!  I’m excited, you’re excited, my dog is excited…The Avengers is going to be a huge event.  Expect plenty of big explosions! 
• The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3^rd): Yeah yeah, another Spider-Man movie, and this time without dough-eyed Tobey Maguire (The Social Network’s Andrew Garfield takes over as Peter Parker).  But the trailer looks interesting, and the cast is pretty fantastic.  Plus, it’s Spider-Man, guys!  Don’t act like you don’t want to see a new Spidey movie.
• The Dark Knight Rises (July 20^th): YOU WILL SEE THIS MOVIE.  It’s the final Christopher Nolan-directed Batman film starring Christian Bale, so ‘nuff said.  Honestly, if there’s any movie that can make $200 million in its opening weekend, I think it’s this one.  Buy your ticket to the IMAX showing NOW.

Keep your eyes on the screen, folks!  Remember: it’s in the movies where dreams become reality.  

By Alex Tafet

  -  Enjoy our blog?  Please comment and let us know how we're doing!  -